it doesn't feel like i am allowed to be sad right now

but i am and drinking and being awake alone just made it worse

i'm happy but

there's still so much to be sad about

most of the time, i feel okay

and now that i'm working i feel

autonomous again

but no matter what i do with my life

the sad finds its way back in

through the cracks where i've allowed myself to 

be happy.

i want someone to comfort me

and to tell me i'll be okay

but i know that doesn't make the sad 

less sad

so why do i want it so bad?

i guess i'm allowed to let this situation upset me

but i just want to understand why it does

It feels very real now

 I am waiting to tell you I love you 

And I think the planets are making me feel it so deeply

You are beautiful and you make me 

want to make you happy again 

and again.

Every time you smile,

It feels good.

Every time you laugh,

It feels good.

You are so cool

And you make me feel cool too.