my heart strings are falling apart again. i'm so weak, too weak for you, for anyone. i can't handle myself, i can't handle others. but i try. maybe because i think it's worth it, maybe because it seems easier with time, or maybe cuz i am just plain stupid. i believe it's the latter. regardless, i've dug my grip into clay; it's hardened around my fingers and i'm trapped. i thought i loved it, but it just hurts now every time i try to break free, the clay cracks and cuts my skin. i can't break free from this twisted love; i find myself imprisoned, and if i am hurt, i am stuck.
but i don't want to leave you, though.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
what a queen
she clasped her hands around the rope and gasped
gasped--
the words that might save her.
but they didn't save her --
she drowned in her ignorance as the
rope rubbed away her skin, leaving
bloody palms.
all she had to pick up
the mess with were her sore
bloody, palms.
she lifted shards of glass from the dirt,
strewn with dismembered body parts
and dented armor. and she cried
out
as a bloodied hand gripped her ankle
the voice gasped
"this is your own doing"
and she collapsed next to him,
buried her suddenly aged face in her palms
and wept.
wept for all the pain she had wrought
for all the blood she had drawn
for all the lives she had taken,
to save her own.
"how i have disappointed my people;
what people? i have no people.
i killed them all in my greed.
what a queen i have become."
gasped--
the words that might save her.
but they didn't save her --
she drowned in her ignorance as the
rope rubbed away her skin, leaving
bloody palms.
all she had to pick up
the mess with were her sore
bloody, palms.
she lifted shards of glass from the dirt,
strewn with dismembered body parts
and dented armor. and she cried
out
as a bloodied hand gripped her ankle
the voice gasped
"this is your own doing"
and she collapsed next to him,
buried her suddenly aged face in her palms
and wept.
wept for all the pain she had wrought
for all the blood she had drawn
for all the lives she had taken,
to save her own.
"how i have disappointed my people;
what people? i have no people.
i killed them all in my greed.
what a queen i have become."
Monday, October 17, 2011
Bright for Brown
and I kissed you with such passion, the dirt on my brow and the leaves and twigs ignited in a flame of love and bliss. nothing could Douse that Fire, not even the Rain that poured on us as the day aged; the Sun Shone on us and us Only, alighting the Clearing we found Peace within. Our eyes glowed bright for Brown, and our Lips pressed so closely, they melted together. your Hands found the small of my Back and you Brought me close -- i Laced my fingers through your Hair and Breathed in the Essence of you.
And my heart screamed with such joy, it burst out of my chest just to present itself to you.
And my heart screamed with such joy, it burst out of my chest just to present itself to you.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
"We can't do this much longer," she whispered.
Soft white hands caressing my face, blue eyes so big I could drown in them -- her voice, though hushed, fills my ears with its sweet tone, rich and thick with beauty. I clasp my hands over hers, drawing her closer and breathing in her presence. Her fawn hair falls in waves over my raspy, unshaven cheek. Her lips meet my own in a hasty kiss, but I delve in, our souls twisting and dancing in fantastical spins and leaps, like dancers on an unlit floor. She struggles to pull away, fighting against her own will to stay in my arms. "I can't," she gasps, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I must leave."
I release her hands for a moment, and she holds them over her tear-stained face, hiding herself, as if she should be ashamed of what I am seeing. I know what she'll say if I come closer; she will tell me to leave, to let her be. But I know that's not what she wants. So I bring her into my arms and rock her ever so slightly, kissing her hair and whispering poems into her ear. Her muffled sobs fade into my chest, and as the time passes they become tiny hiccups. I tip her chin up with a finger and smile lightly at her. "You should be going," I tell her, my own hazel eyes meeting hers. "But I didn't want our last memory to be one of us weeping." The corners of her perfect lips curve ever so slightly, and I know I have done what I wished to do. I kiss her nose, and she giggles.
She turns away slowly, and her smile fades into a sobered gaze as she watches me over her shoulder. At last I manage to tear my gaze from hers, and she looks ahead of her instead of behind. And then it pains me, I suddenly have lost my precious jewel. She is gone, and I know it as I watch her vanish into the mist. She and her white dress -- I will never see again. Her tiny, bare feet and the piece of rope tied around her ankle -- they will be gone forever. Hushed whispers and muffled laughs -- silenced. Soul-touching embraces and sweet kisses -- separated till death.
What I will do till then, that is what I do not know.
Soft white hands caressing my face, blue eyes so big I could drown in them -- her voice, though hushed, fills my ears with its sweet tone, rich and thick with beauty. I clasp my hands over hers, drawing her closer and breathing in her presence. Her fawn hair falls in waves over my raspy, unshaven cheek. Her lips meet my own in a hasty kiss, but I delve in, our souls twisting and dancing in fantastical spins and leaps, like dancers on an unlit floor. She struggles to pull away, fighting against her own will to stay in my arms. "I can't," she gasps, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I must leave."
I release her hands for a moment, and she holds them over her tear-stained face, hiding herself, as if she should be ashamed of what I am seeing. I know what she'll say if I come closer; she will tell me to leave, to let her be. But I know that's not what she wants. So I bring her into my arms and rock her ever so slightly, kissing her hair and whispering poems into her ear. Her muffled sobs fade into my chest, and as the time passes they become tiny hiccups. I tip her chin up with a finger and smile lightly at her. "You should be going," I tell her, my own hazel eyes meeting hers. "But I didn't want our last memory to be one of us weeping." The corners of her perfect lips curve ever so slightly, and I know I have done what I wished to do. I kiss her nose, and she giggles.
She turns away slowly, and her smile fades into a sobered gaze as she watches me over her shoulder. At last I manage to tear my gaze from hers, and she looks ahead of her instead of behind. And then it pains me, I suddenly have lost my precious jewel. She is gone, and I know it as I watch her vanish into the mist. She and her white dress -- I will never see again. Her tiny, bare feet and the piece of rope tied around her ankle -- they will be gone forever. Hushed whispers and muffled laughs -- silenced. Soul-touching embraces and sweet kisses -- separated till death.
What I will do till then, that is what I do not know.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
what i wouldn't do...
If we were children
I would bake you a mud pie
Warm n brown beneath the sun
Never learned to climb a tree
But I would try
Just to show you what I'd done
Oh, what I wouldn't do
If I had you, babe
I had you
Oh, what I wouldn't do
If I had you, babe
If I were old, my dearest
You woulld be older
But I would crawl upon your lap
Wrap a blanket 'round our frail little shoulders
And I'd die happily like that
Oh, what I wouldn't do
If I had you, babe
If I had you
Oh, what I wouldn't do
If I had you, babe
I had you
So laze your hands 'round the small of my back
And I will kiss you, like a king
I will be your bride
I'll keep you warm at night
I will sing, I will sing
It was now and we were both in the same place
I didn't know how to say the words
With my heart ticking
Like a bomb in a birdcage
I left before someone got hurt
Cuz it was, what I wouldn't do
I might, if I had you
It was, what I wouldn't do
When I had you, babe
When I had you
http://youtu.be/042teGeQ2dY
I would bake you a mud pie
Warm n brown beneath the sun
Never learned to climb a tree
But I would try
Just to show you what I'd done
Oh, what I wouldn't do
If I had you, babe
I had you
Oh, what I wouldn't do
If I had you, babe
If I were old, my dearest
You woulld be older
But I would crawl upon your lap
Wrap a blanket 'round our frail little shoulders
And I'd die happily like that
Oh, what I wouldn't do
If I had you, babe
If I had you
Oh, what I wouldn't do
If I had you, babe
I had you
So laze your hands 'round the small of my back
And I will kiss you, like a king
I will be your bride
I'll keep you warm at night
I will sing, I will sing
It was now and we were both in the same place
I didn't know how to say the words
With my heart ticking
Like a bomb in a birdcage
I left before someone got hurt
Cuz it was, what I wouldn't do
I might, if I had you
It was, what I wouldn't do
When I had you, babe
When I had you
http://youtu.be/042teGeQ2dY
Monday, October 10, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
You'll be in my heart.
It's more than a little upsetting to see you so broken and confused.
Oh, how I used to loathe you...your stupid insults and your annoying voice. I really wanted you to die, if you weren't going to leave me only. But it's a little bit funny, how that's changed. Your absence seems to have washed away that hatred. Which I suppose is a good thing, holding grudges is rather draining.
You're the same person, but different. In this brilliant, mad way; very strange. I mean, you look the same; same hair, same eyes, same face. You're still a little bit off -- but somewhat wiser. Someone I actually want to be friends with. Which is why I repeat the first line. Anyway, I have to go.
It's time for tea.
Oh, how I used to loathe you...your stupid insults and your annoying voice. I really wanted you to die, if you weren't going to leave me only. But it's a little bit funny, how that's changed. Your absence seems to have washed away that hatred. Which I suppose is a good thing, holding grudges is rather draining.
You're the same person, but different. In this brilliant, mad way; very strange. I mean, you look the same; same hair, same eyes, same face. You're still a little bit off -- but somewhat wiser. Someone I actually want to be friends with. Which is why I repeat the first line. Anyway, I have to go.
It's time for tea.
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