This time last year I'd just started out at Alamo and wasn't making very much money at all, taking whatever classes at whatever college for the fuck of it. This time two years ago, I was delivering pizzas and making decent money, but surrounded by a vacuum of ambition and slowly packing on pizza pounds. This time three years ago, I was drowning in anxiety and just wanted to stop everything despite doing the job I'd worked so hard towards. Now, I'm still at the theater, serving up greasy food to greasy people. Money has gotten better (still not great), living situation is the best it's ever been, and I just got back from my trip to Colorado with Simon.
Speaking of Simon: I feel like our relationship has been rocky and questionable sometimes, especially during the holidays last year when we weren't talking. Occasionally, when either one of us was at an emotional low, I've seriously questioned the validity of the relationship, and that's been so scary. How do you know when enough is enough? How do you know when to call it? But over the last couple of months, I've felt the slow climb of improvement on both ends. Our trip was one of my favorite experiences travelling that I've ever had, and even after spending a week solely with him, I still miss him now that he's at work and I'm at home.
Currently, I'm sitting on my couch before work, watching grav3yardgirl videos on YouTube and job searching "Horticulture" to see where I could possibly end up after I finish up this associate's program at NCTC. Indeed's search results are overwhelmingly cannabis heavy, and despite my minute interest in those jobs, an inkling of curiosity is growing into an inclination. Many of these positions are located in states near universities I'm interested in, and pay relatively well for the areas they're in. It's important to me to put myself in a position where I not only will be working in my field, but also somewhere where I'm comfortable and where I can springboard myself back into school whenever I'm ready for it.
Overall, there's much to think about, without a doubt. It's hard for me not to get ahead of myself and plan grandiose adventures or plans before it's even remotely possible to carry them out, but I just got back from vacation and after 24 hours at home, I'm already itching to move on again. For now, I plan to stay at Alamo and finish out school and an internship, and continue obsessively researching as I go.
