Wednesday, March 23, 2011
It's not that I don't like you, it's just I don't want you around.
Yea, yea. That's what I think everyone wants to say to me.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
I love you, Brother.
Crazy how the person who shattered my heart into a million pieces and sent me into a spiraling depression is the one who I call Brother. At least, now, I guess. He went from friend, to lover, to ex, to friend, to best friend, and finally to brother. And I'm hoping this time he'll stay for good.
Because I do love him. He means a lot to me, and we've seen a lot together. We've learned from each other. We pick each other up when we're down. We laugh. We cry. We've fought. And maybe I sometimes wish we were together again, but it's just me hating being single. If I had to choose between having him as a boyfriend for a short spell or having him as a brother forever, it would definitely be the latter.
I don't really know what I'd do without him. He's my voice of reason. My upper. My best friend. My better.
My brother.
Go on with bravery and love.
Because I do love him. He means a lot to me, and we've seen a lot together. We've learned from each other. We pick each other up when we're down. We laugh. We cry. We've fought. And maybe I sometimes wish we were together again, but it's just me hating being single. If I had to choose between having him as a boyfriend for a short spell or having him as a brother forever, it would definitely be the latter.
I don't really know what I'd do without him. He's my voice of reason. My upper. My best friend. My better.
My brother.
Go on with bravery and love.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
20 things that annoy me? This should be easy.
1} Bad grammar.
2} Stupid people.
3} Animal cruelty.
4} Last names that are impossible to pronounce.
5} Disney.
6} Songs that repeat the same line over and over.
7} Twitards.
8} PETA.
9} People who think they're good at everything.
10} Violence.
11} Bugs.
12} Bad actors.
13} Followers.
14} Girls who like my sloppy seconds.
15} Boys who say one thing and do the complete opposite.
16} Myself, often.
17} Teachers who think they know everything.
18} People who are afraid of diversity.
19} When I make mistakes.
20} The lack of love in this world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll write it later.
2} Stupid people.
3} Animal cruelty.
4} Last names that are impossible to pronounce.
5} Disney.
6} Songs that repeat the same line over and over.
7} Twitards.
8} PETA.
9} People who think they're good at everything.
10} Violence.
11} Bugs.
12} Bad actors.
13} Followers.
14} Girls who like my sloppy seconds.
15} Boys who say one thing and do the complete opposite.
16} Myself, often.
17} Teachers who think they know everything.
18} People who are afraid of diversity.
19} When I make mistakes.
20} The lack of love in this world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll write it later.
I just really want
someone that will touch me.
I don't mean anything inappropriate, well, not at the moment. But I just need someone to touch me. To make me feel like I matter. I know I do, but I want to feel it. A hug. A kiss. Anything. I want to feel.
I haven't felt. I haven't felt in forever. I need to feel. I'll do whatever it takes to feel, because if I don't I'm not really sure what I'll do. And I know if I fall in love again, I'll come crashing down. I don't know if I could handle the pain. But the fall.
The fall is so damn sweet.
I don't mean anything inappropriate, well, not at the moment. But I just need someone to touch me. To make me feel like I matter. I know I do, but I want to feel it. A hug. A kiss. Anything. I want to feel.
I haven't felt. I haven't felt in forever. I need to feel. I'll do whatever it takes to feel, because if I don't I'm not really sure what I'll do. And I know if I fall in love again, I'll come crashing down. I don't know if I could handle the pain. But the fall.
The fall is so damn sweet.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Dear Brother,
Times change, as they say. And brother, we've certainly seen our share of change, haven't we? Lucky for me, you've been a constant in my life. These past months, you've been a steady source of friendship, support, and laughter...and although I might not say it enough, that means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me.
And that will never change.
Annie
Go on with bravery and love.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
List 10 things you usually do on a rainy day. Pick one from your list and freewrite for 5 minutes.
1} Listen to music.
2} Write letters.
3} Sleep.
4} Watch TV.
5} Make lists(like so)
6} Talk on the phone.
7} Eat more than I should.
8} Take a bath.
9} Go insane, throw some glitter,
10} Make it rain.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
My pale fingers lightly danced across the numbers. I lifted the phone to my ear and listened to what seemed like hours of ringing. At last I heard the voice I had been longing to hear for weeks.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Ben," I said, half whispering because I wasn't supposed to be awake.
"Hey Annie. What's up?" Ben replied, rather loudly.
"Nothing much," I answered. "Breaking curfew."
There was an awkward silence. I didn't understand why until I realized that he couldn't have seen the air quotes I made.
"Okay..." Ben mumbled, then brightened. "How was your rainy day?"
"Pretty good, I guess. Listened to music and slept."
"Good deal. What music?"
"Goo Goo Dolls," I replied.
"Beast," he half laughed. "I like them. What's your favorite song by them?"
"Iris."
"Iris is cool. I like Name, too," he added.
Our conversation dragged out for hours, dipping in and out of deep subjects, occasionally cracking stupid jokes, and at about four in the morning, he yawned. I did the same. I didn't want to hang up.
"I..." I mumbled.
"Goodnight Annie," Ben said warmly.
"Ah, goodnight," I replied.
I slept well that night.
2} Write letters.
3} Sleep.
4} Watch TV.
5} Make lists(like so)
6} Talk on the phone.
7} Eat more than I should.
8} Take a bath.
9} Go insane, throw some glitter,
10} Make it rain.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
My pale fingers lightly danced across the numbers. I lifted the phone to my ear and listened to what seemed like hours of ringing. At last I heard the voice I had been longing to hear for weeks.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Ben," I said, half whispering because I wasn't supposed to be awake.
"Hey Annie. What's up?" Ben replied, rather loudly.
"Nothing much," I answered. "Breaking curfew."
There was an awkward silence. I didn't understand why until I realized that he couldn't have seen the air quotes I made.
"Okay..." Ben mumbled, then brightened. "How was your rainy day?"
"Pretty good, I guess. Listened to music and slept."
"Good deal. What music?"
"Goo Goo Dolls," I replied.
"Beast," he half laughed. "I like them. What's your favorite song by them?"
"Iris."
"Iris is cool. I like Name, too," he added.
Our conversation dragged out for hours, dipping in and out of deep subjects, occasionally cracking stupid jokes, and at about four in the morning, he yawned. I did the same. I didn't want to hang up.
"I..." I mumbled.
"Goodnight Annie," Ben said warmly.
"Ah, goodnight," I replied.
I slept well that night.
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