i love you. i love your messy hair and your big brown eyes. i love your smile and your walk and your style. i love the way you laugh when i tickle you. i love you way you try to cheer me up even when i'm being a buttface. i love they way you writhe and moan when i suck you off. i love you way you go down on me. i love the way you call me beautiful when i don't even try, and make me feel thousand times better when i already feel amazing. i love you. and i want to make you the happiest person in the world. otay.
meep
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
i still find it baffling, you know.
we are not made up of memories or materials or attitude but instead what we believe is true and the words repeat to ourselves every day. so every brain is a world in which we live and a world in which we believe is the only one that matters. but then there are seven billion other people, seven billion other worlds coming together and falling apart. seven billion worlds that sometimes may cross paths but never travel the same road forever. and the 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 animals that roam the earth as well.
we All live in the Same world we All come from the Same place but no we don't we are all worlds born from different worlds; this exponential growth means that the worlds are expanding rapidly like the chicken pox on a child. 1,000,000,007,000,000,000 worlds on one planet -- does that not intimate the infinite number of worlds that are in existence?
so what does this mean to us? well, to the rational it means nothing for we are here now and now is all we have so why worry about the worlds around us when we have one of our own? but for the dreamers: This means there are an infinite number of worlds we will never get the chance to explore. we will never discover what wars, what conflicts, or what resources these precious worlds hold because these worlds are never-ending.
until we reach the center of cold quicksilver stars or leave the safety of our precious milky way, we may not even come close to these worlds. but the dreamers, they are the ones who will reach these worlds. they are the ones that will align themselves with them and all thoughts will evanesce as two become one, if only for an instant
we are not made up of memories or materials or attitude but instead what we believe is true and the words repeat to ourselves every day. so every brain is a world in which we live and a world in which we believe is the only one that matters. but then there are seven billion other people, seven billion other worlds coming together and falling apart. seven billion worlds that sometimes may cross paths but never travel the same road forever. and the 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 animals that roam the earth as well.
we All live in the Same world we All come from the Same place but no we don't we are all worlds born from different worlds; this exponential growth means that the worlds are expanding rapidly like the chicken pox on a child. 1,000,000,007,000,000,000 worlds on one planet -- does that not intimate the infinite number of worlds that are in existence?
so what does this mean to us? well, to the rational it means nothing for we are here now and now is all we have so why worry about the worlds around us when we have one of our own? but for the dreamers: This means there are an infinite number of worlds we will never get the chance to explore. we will never discover what wars, what conflicts, or what resources these precious worlds hold because these worlds are never-ending.
until we reach the center of cold quicksilver stars or leave the safety of our precious milky way, we may not even come close to these worlds. but the dreamers, they are the ones who will reach these worlds. they are the ones that will align themselves with them and all thoughts will evanesce as two become one, if only for an instant
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
i dont want this
I don't want you to go. I know we have another year and that anything could happen between then and now, like we could break up or get married or whatever young couples do when they're in love and one is about to go away, but I don't want you to go. I'm so happy now. I don't want you to leave me like everybody else left me. But you're going to. And I know it. The anticipation is burning at me.
I've become a slave to love and that's okay because you have to. You always make me smile even when I'm sick as fuck or just got out of surgery. You bring me food and flowers and gifts that I wouldn't ask from you in a million years and you put up with me when I'm being rash. You've become not only my love but my best friend and I wouldn't trade that for anything. No matter how attractive the guy or how annoying you may get (even though it's not very often at all), I would never break up with you. You contribute to our relationship and even more importantly, you care. You care a lot and that makes me feel okay even when I hate myself and want to die.
And I can't imagine a world without you. I can't imagine not seeing you in the hallways before class or sitting without you at lunch or riding the bus home alone. I cannot fathom a world in which my fingers do not lace through yours like threads in a precious carpet. I cannot grasp the idea of going to sleep every night without a goodnight and an "I love you". Is it possible to live without you? Because I do not believe it is.
I have lived without you for fourteen years and now that I stumble across you, what makes it so different? I will tell you. You are the diamond that many mine for but cannot find and that is why you are so precious. You are the cool spring mornings, dew on the grass, so serene. You are the sheets on my bed that lull me to sleep, crisp yet soft. You are my heart and my home.
How do I live without I home?
I've become a slave to love and that's okay because you have to. You always make me smile even when I'm sick as fuck or just got out of surgery. You bring me food and flowers and gifts that I wouldn't ask from you in a million years and you put up with me when I'm being rash. You've become not only my love but my best friend and I wouldn't trade that for anything. No matter how attractive the guy or how annoying you may get (even though it's not very often at all), I would never break up with you. You contribute to our relationship and even more importantly, you care. You care a lot and that makes me feel okay even when I hate myself and want to die.
And I can't imagine a world without you. I can't imagine not seeing you in the hallways before class or sitting without you at lunch or riding the bus home alone. I cannot fathom a world in which my fingers do not lace through yours like threads in a precious carpet. I cannot grasp the idea of going to sleep every night without a goodnight and an "I love you". Is it possible to live without you? Because I do not believe it is.
I have lived without you for fourteen years and now that I stumble across you, what makes it so different? I will tell you. You are the diamond that many mine for but cannot find and that is why you are so precious. You are the cool spring mornings, dew on the grass, so serene. You are the sheets on my bed that lull me to sleep, crisp yet soft. You are my heart and my home.
How do I live without I home?
Friday, January 18, 2013
sleepless nights spent pondering the meaning of my existence and wishing i could be someone else.
if i could paint a picture of my insides...
Rain pattering down a coffee shop window and ribbons of cigarette smoke curling and dancing along my vision. An untouched cup of coffee, a dusty bookshelf cut off by the edge of the canvas. But how does one illustrate longing with words alone? That tingling in your arms and legs. The emptiness in your chest. The howl you have to hold back, the haunting of something that could be, but never will, and living with that. It feels so damn lonely, to listen to the constant weeping of your own broken soul.
this is our life. until we draw our final breath.
Rain pattering down a coffee shop window and ribbons of cigarette smoke curling and dancing along my vision. An untouched cup of coffee, a dusty bookshelf cut off by the edge of the canvas. But how does one illustrate longing with words alone? That tingling in your arms and legs. The emptiness in your chest. The howl you have to hold back, the haunting of something that could be, but never will, and living with that. It feels so damn lonely, to listen to the constant weeping of your own broken soul.
this is our life. until we draw our final breath.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
I will guard you fiercely. I will
cherish every moment with you. I will hang onto every word you speak and
tremble under your fingertips. I will savor every kiss and breathe in your
essence. I will smile at every memory. I
will long for you every minute you are away. I will seek you in times of
tribulation, and I will cry for you when I can’t find you. You are everything I
have ever needed, everything I have ever wanted, and my home.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
death by overdose
sounds lovely write now. i can just picture my fatality report.
Name: Annie Kittrell
DOB: 02/19/98
Time of Death: 11/29/12, 11:11 PM
Cause of Death: Suicide by Overdose
Name: Annie Kittrell
DOB: 02/19/98
Time of Death: 11/29/12, 11:11 PM
Cause of Death: Suicide by Overdose
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