i can't

write another post about how much i love you.

LOLOLOLOL

we were both young...

when i first saw you.

This is a letter you will probably never end up reading, and I will probably never show it to you because in a couple of months I'll laugh at how stupid it is or something.

But darling, I adore you. I love your laugh and your smile and your weird hands. I don't really like my neck being poked at, but there's not too many things you can do that would make me not smile. I love it when I come home and your smell still lingers on my shirt, reminding me of you. I love how I can be breaking out and wear no makeup whatsoever, and you can still bear the sight of me and manage to tell me I'm beautiful.

It's kind of ridiculous. I've dated you for three weeks but I've been in love with you for three months. You were my best friend when my life fell flat and you listened to me mope and groan even though I'm probably the most boring person ever when I get upset. And it probably didn't seem like much to you, just some texts and a shared laugh, but it meant more than the world to me.

To have someone there whenever I needed them. To be able to have a best friend and not have anything get in the way. No boys, no girls, not drugs, no cities could come between us. I don't know if it was you or I who felt it first. But damn, how I felt it when I did. I fell in love with you, and I'm pretty sure I love you. You better love me back, fatty :3

I really don't understand how I got so lucky.

My Own Lion King.

I watched the Lion King in the movie theatre tonight. I've seen it like thirty times, but I paid thirty dollars to watch it in 3D. Whatever. It never meant more than a lion winning back his pride before last year, but seeing it again brings not only nostalgia, but also a new wave of enlightenment.

Last summer...I don't need to describe last summer. It was fine. It was like the opening to Lion King. I was Simba, exploring a new facet of life (infatuation/love for myself, actually). I was like a little cub in the savannah, learning about things I had never known before. It was brilliant. I wasn't introduced to Scar until around September.

My first true heartbreak was a great loss. It was perhaps the death of Mufasa. It brought me great pain, and my depression only worsened it. Scar only told me to run away from what I was denying. And so I did. I ran away, from my past. I didn't want to remember what I had lost.

And then there were friends there. Good friends, that didn't question my past and helped me forget about what had happened. Timon and Pumbaa. They showed me new things, things that distracted me from Scar. But he lurked there, always causing trouble. My depression was influencing those I loved, and I was ignoring it.

But then Nala came along. She...er, he, in this case. She(he) brought me great joy, sincere joy, that wasn't distracting but very needed. Despite my protests, she(he) shoved the truth in my face, and when I failed to cooperate, grew angry at me.

My favorite part. Here is the lovely Rafiki. I've met him before, he troubled me. Only confused me, with his strange antics and ways of going about things. But now he came, and spoke to me, and this time it was different. He directed me to enlightenment. Perhaps not deliberately, but he showed my Mufasa. Love spoke to me.

Remember who you are.

And I suddenly did. I remembered happiness, I remembered the sweet taste of joy. And now I longed for it with a passion so deep I could not resist. And I ran, I ran to Scar. I ran to confront what had been troubling me for so many months. I didn't care the battle scars I would possibly gain, I wanted him gone. No longer would he trouble my loved ones.

I fought him. I fought him. I fought him with all of my might. I fought him for all the damage he had done. I fought him for all the pain he had caused. And at first, I was reluctant to kill him. I told him Leave, and never return. But that would never be. So I slayed him. I rid myself of Scar. Of my depression.

And so I began anew, with Nala(:3), Timon, Pumbaa, Rafiki...my eyes are clean and now that Scar is gone, there is no one to bid the Pridelands doom. I reside on Pride Rock with joy. For Mother, I am not dead and you will never have to see me running from Scar again.

Here's to you.

I love you. I love your smile. I love your laugh, the way you walk, the way every time I see you my day becomes a million times better. I love how I can be having the worst day and the mere mention of your name makes me feel happy. I love how when I tell people that I'm dating you, I feel like I'm telling them I have a million dollars, but you're worth so much more than that. I love your nose and you quirky sense of humor. I love your YuGiOh! deck and your tennis shorts. I love how you can manage to make me feel beautiful when I'm really not. I love you.

I love you so much.

/:

wanna know how he played you? once you fell in love with him, it was simple. he gave you what you wanted when you were around him, but flirted with other girls to make you jealous, therefore making him feel like a badass or something. then when you accused him of anything, he made you feel like a fucking bitch even though you WEREN'T being one. he treated you like a fucking puppy dog and you LET him. and if you plan on getting back together with him, i worry for you.

How does this go again?

Haven't done this in a while
Gonna be a little rough this time
I was hoping not, but it appears so
But this time I'm not breaking.

Can't let you see me weak
That's not me.
Can't let you take care of me
I don't need maintenance, I'm no sport car.

My heart's wide open for you
Come in and bask in this sea
Sea of love.
Drown me in it.

If you leave
Don't forget me.
But for now, please
Stay, cause I need someone to catch me

when i fall.